I visited my own blog after a long time.
It stands as a reminder of a passion that was once mine - the passion to write, to express all that one thinks and feels. So much goes through my head now… a thousand thoughts a second... And yet, there is no urge to write it all down. Words have deserted me as I once deserted them. A tit for tat, you say? The biggest mistake of my life I say.
Remember a time when words were the doorway to a wonderful land full of possibilities - a world where nothing was impossible, everything was true, you could be whoever you want to? Remember the time when words expressed you thoughts better than you yourself could. When you skipped two meals in a row because Dumbledore was dead and no one knew if Harry could stop Voldemort? That time now seems so far away. Almost as though it was all a dream - a wondrous, beautiful dream - but a dream nevertheless.
Now, the world of words is closed to me. I have grown too big for the door to their land. There they are. They beckon me. As much as I want to, I cannot enter their land again.
Or so I think.
Sad and disappointed, I sit outside. Deep in thought, looking for a way to get in there, when all of a sudden I heard a sound, a sound that reminded me of my childhood. I rushed around to find the source.
Going a little ahead, I saw another door. This door led to another land I visited as a child. Another land that held endless peace and quiet for me. A land that promised me joy and happiness every time I stepped through its doors.
I stand outside, remembering the time. The notes that flowed around me. The words that call to me. The sound of music, the beat of the drum, the notes on the keys, the beautiful voices singing. The merriment, the carefree happiness in the voices of those singing. The upbeat feel of the most beautiful language that humans share - music.
I try to enter the door. I find that I have grown too big for it. The door won't fit me. The gates that seemed to call to me, become hostile. No longer am I welcome in the land of music. They shun me now, as I have shunned them.
Too busy in my own life, I discarded all the simple pleasures that were once my best friends. Too busy growing up; I thought they were things of the past, to be buried in the past.
Now I know. Some things are never to let go off. The love your childhood best friends offer is eternal and pure. I hope to return to them soon. The land of words and the land of music. I am positive that they will forgive me despite how I treated them.
Growing up should make me mature enough to nurture what is so rarely got. Growing up should make me realize that very few are lucky enough to find love in immaterial things. Growing up should make me realize that life is more than just earning money and spending it. Growing up should make me realize that no matter how many things I have, things never give you happiness. Growing up should make me realize that the human potential is boundless, and that we have endless possibilities. Growing up should make me realize that I cannot achieve me true potential if I do not accept the real me.
It is the old love returning, and this time there will be no stopping.
