Another day... another thought...

So I was coming home in the bus today, and a couple of really old sardarjis entered the bus. The bus was quite full, but they got a place to sit. Looking at them, this thought suddenly crossed my mind and I feel I should spell it out, so that I can get your feedback on it.

Now, I stay in Brampton. And this city is like a Mini-Punjab. Actually I think if you look at the number of Punjabis here, it might in fact be the real Punjab. As a result, I get to see a huge Punjabi population. And it is a variety of ages there too. So I see small kids trying to speak in Punjabi, Teens speaking fluent punjabi and fluent english, college going kids speaking mostly English, middle-aged people speaking in punjabi and their level of english depending on when they migrated to Canada, and the very old people.

What you notice when you look at the old people, is that the lines on their faces tell you a short history of their lives. Many a times the way they behave, respond to what others say and react to others around them tells you what they have been through in their life. I have noticed that the way these people have adapted to the Canadian culture, the people, the manners, the language, the etiquette can be largely and very broadly categorized into three categories.

Some of them have become docile: The new culture, their own inadequacy and illiteracy in spoken English and the rather “Indian” notion of the “white” being superior to us, makes them meek, and obedient. You realize this when you see them say, “Beg your pardon” or “sorry” at every single thing, and smile embarrassedly. Some others have become aggressive: The same factors have a completely different influence on them. They feel threatened by this culture and try to overcome this threat by being even aggressive. This feeling is brought about when you look at people who look at and judge other people with a very narrow and limited scope of mind. And last, but not the least, some have become indifferent: This indifference comes out in their non-conformance to the culture and language; and moreover with a total lack of their interest in the same. It is just them and the lives that they are leading.

When I look at the equation between the different generations here, I realize that there is, in fact, a huge gap between them. Imagine three generations living in one household. Of course there is a gap between the youngsters and their parents. Also what I feel is important is the gap between the grandparents and the younger generations. It has been addressed, but I don’t think sensitively enough.

What happens to those old people who have been here for, say 10 years? They have integrated into the culture in so far as they know their way around in the city. But what do they feel about this problem? What about the feeling of loneliness and boredom that they feel once they are forced to retire and have nothing else to do? No one here has time to be available for the other person. Everyone fends for themselves and even if they provide for a family member, they don’t have the time to be on their beck and call. This sort of demand is also irrational. These elderly people are forced to look for things to keep them occupied. Some find them, some don’t. Those who don’t, go to religious places and make “friends” that they meet.

Another pressure they face is to uphold the "myth" that life in a "foreign" country is nice, easy, more comfortable and in general, happier. I call this a pressurebecause how do you convince others you are happy when you are, in face, not happy? And you have to convince them because it is a myth you believed when you came here, and it is a myth you have been propagating all these years. What happens when all the pressures come on to you at once, that too when you have grown old?

Many a times, a cute old man has come up to me, and spoken to me as though to his granddaughter. While I love talking to them, I think our generation is becoming rather indifferent to anyone’s needs but their own.

I don’t want to imply that I am “pitying” the elderly in any sense. Who am I to do that?

All I am saying is that there is growing need for us to take notice of what our parents and our grandparents might be going through. A need for us to become a little less selfish. :)

Having said all this, I do admit the possibility that I might be completely off-mark and misinterpreting what I see. After all, we all have different perception. :) So feel free to comment. :D :)