A train of thought caught at a station...

Its been two months and ten days since I came to Canada. I will be honest. When I came here, I couldn't wait to go back. And yet, as I spent time here, I realised I have the choice to either go back and follow the plan of life, or view the next three years as an adventure in a new country.

Knowing me as you do, it is not hard to guess what I chose.

Now as I look back, I think that it was perhaps one of the few sensible decisions I've made in life. And being a sensible decision, it undoubtedly was also painful. I have moved far away from people I have grown attached to in a very short span. Those few people, that I miss more than words can ever express.

True. It is easy for me to move on. New place. New friends. New hardships. New adventures. Nothing to remind me of those people I left behind. And yet, there comes a time when one feels the need. A need to be with someone to just hangout with, someone you can sit with and talk about everything and nothing. It is most hard-felt when you are alone, when you suddenly find yourself doing nothing, when the hours in a day become too many to be productive.

At this time, no amount of calling, chatting and emailing can bring back the intimacy shared over pav-bhaji at colaba and a gola at kala ghoda, during long walks from the station to the guest-house in the sweltering heat and over boxes of pizza ordered to celebrate nothing, while drinking bottles of fizz downed in hours that passed like minutes and texting 24*7, and during the long journey to vashi undertaken right after a sleepless night and 10 hours of inter-state travelling just to meet, hug and say hi. Intimacy shared while randomly calling out "heroine" from one end of the canteen to the other knowing that the person willknow it is her, and while quietly sitting in a corner there complaining about everything going wrong in our messed up teen-lives, in randomly shooing crows off the table by trying to make them (crows) understand why it was annoying to have them around, and while randomly treating eachother to the infamous canteen chaats- bhelpuri and sevpuri, and ice cream.

Nothing makes up for the time spent during extra long walks at Amarsons and Marine Drive, eating pav-bhaji at Chowpatty and Kulfi at the Dairy, while drooling over extra hot guys at Britannia and walking all the way to and from Colaba, time spent when going completely crazy watching back-to-back movies or shocking the hell out of the other by ordering a half kg cake just because one felt like having some. Nothing, as I say, makes up for the bond created and cherished over long talks and tears spilled over seemingly "important" issues in life, and on the night-outer on the terrace watching exceedingly boring movies, followed by 3 am maggi and then two chocolate cakes baked in the hostel oven for at least half the hostel. The bond that only grew stronger while studying seriously, huddled together in our "secret" place or in charming the library staff to keep the library open for the precious extra 5 minutes during exam times.

A great number of hearts and smileys do not make up for three years spent together in classes- studying, drawing graffiti, catching up on the latest gossip. Years spent building a friendship that started either in the library reference room (of all places!), or the literature class and grew through the hours in the high dark alleys of Bhabha Hall, the crowded lane of Colaba Causeway, the cheesy music at Colaba McDonald's, the roads of colaba, the room of UTBT treating ourselves to "Cheese me Please me" and to Relish, going crazy over the intense pleasure of eating hot cheese. Friendships that grew from being just classmates, to co-techs at lit conference and Kscope, the creative head of the best campaign in the history of SBP elections at Sophia, becoming co-workers under Sr.Rosa, philo single majors under Sir and Ma'am, all the way to becoming friends for a life-time. Being very different in our interests and hobbies, we found the midway to our interests where we influenced each other to grow as individuals.

As I realise the hard way, no amount of virtual hugging, online texting and telephonic conversations that end abruptly can make up for the unexpected geographical vastness that separates us.

And yet, it wouldn't be "me" if I were to end this rather nostalgic note at this gloomy stage. Would it?

Having moved from place-to-place ever since I was a kid had made me adventurous and open to new ideas and people. A bond once made with a person doesn't become the "clingy close connection" that threatens every relation.

The experience shared becomes a seed planted which over a period of time, with proper care and periodic inputs from both parties manages to remain alive and healthy.

So, today, I look ahead to the future that I can see, the past that has been and the present that stands affected by the two. I can proudly and confidently say that while distances create nuances in friendships that I hold dear to my heart, the support of these same people will help us get over the past, through the present and beyond the future.

[These my friends, are the words of The Wise One - the one and only, Nirmolak Kang. Words that have been carefully selected from Her pool of knowledge, that has been made sweet and deep over the years with experience]