Another Station.. Refuelling the Traveller

Thoughts come rather quickly these days...

I sit in the night. thinking tight.

ghosts and memories cloud my sight.

the past looms up, big and bright.

I shut my eyes. closed in fright.

in the morning. the day is clear.

the nightmare remains. it's all i can bear.

it ties me down. feeds off my fear.

prevents rational thought. my mind unclear.

says, 'you can't let go. not now. not ever.'

i stare wide-eyed. in fright. in terror.

My future gone. hopes dashed forever.

dumbstruck i think, "i used to be clever".

the day passes by. no tear. no sigh.

i look at my future. all shrivelled and dry.

gathering courage, i face the past so sly

renewed resolve. this time to fight or die.

my present decides what i make of myself.

a big giant troll, or a tiny little elf.

my present that shapes the future bright.

my present that finally will, the past, unite.

my future awaits. my past sustains.

my present, from me, a duty entails.

a heart. a will. a thousand water pails.

to set myself free. like the spirited whales.

set me free. now i have grown.

every day familiar, every day unknown.

linking them all, like pieces together sewn

the past to teach. my future to learn.

Today it's time. it's been awhile.

my yesterday and tomorrow will reconcile.